Confessions of a forgotten valentine

So, i finally have a boyfriend for valentines day.  Funny thing is, it's no different than not having a boyfriend for valentines day.  I mean, he's amazing, truly is, sends me those texts every once in a while that "make me fall in love with him all over again" or says something incredibly unplanned and romantically brilliant that you think hallmark will be calling him for inspiration on their latest romance cards and then of course there's those times when he's cuddly and kissy and playful and hilarious and the times when he's serious and deep and perfect.  But then there's the other times, when all he wants to do is play video games or computer games.  I mean i get it, that's what he likes to do and it's not something he can get arrested for or another woman so i'm all for it but at the same time, it annoys me a bit.  not that he plays, that's cool.  Just that he plays all the time.  I know we're in different mind sets a lot of the time, me-ready to grow up too fast (like always), working weekends and nights, doing homework, exercising, choir, basically keeping really busy and trying to keep my head above water but usually drowning in a mass of tears because let's face it...i'm not stable, and as much as i like to think i'm grown up and can handle everything- i'm 19 and i can't.  and him-lazy (self proclaimed), wanting to draw out his youth as long as he can, pushing the majority of things that might cause him stress out of his mind or just not letting them bother him (unless i go crazy and don't make that an option for him), etc etc etc.  I get it, he's a sophomore in college, he's doing well academically, that's all he really needs to be doing right now.  I'm a junior, i graduate next year, life is smacking me in the face and i'm sticking my head out as far as i can so it gets a good shot.  I get tired of it all but i don't know how to deal or if i should or what or who or when or where blah blah blah.  

I'm scared of what happens this summer.  I want to be with him, but i'm starting to think that's not gonna happen.  If, and that is a huge if, he would stay here and not move back to baltimore for the summer, i really don't think it would work.  A) he probably wouldn't get a job and contribute to the rent which would drive me nuts, B) i don't think we're ready to live together for an entire summer, just the two of us, and C) yea, just no.  so, he does move back to baltimore and i cry myself silly for weeks missing him, wondering whether or not he ever thinks about me, what he's doing, who he's with, when it will all end.  Visit him a couple of times, when i don't work, live for those moments together then come back to depression and loneliness and work.  ay carumba, that doesnt sound so good either.  fuck monkeys, but breaking up won't solve any problems either.  maybe for him, but for me...i'll still miss him and wonder and cry and be alone, just even more so.  But even beyond this summer, what about after i graduate?  He still has another year in college and i have no idea what i'll be doing.  What then?  god i think too much, i shouldnt be thinking about shit like that, but how can i not when he talks about our future together?! oysh, i'm stressed, valentines day sucks, can i just disappear now?