ma nom a nah

I could sleep with him last night.  That was exciting.  It was the first time i have been able to sleep sans anxiety or discomfort or the urge to just leave in a while.  Granted i took four over the counter sleeping pills and was dead ass tired this morning BUT it doesn't matter.  I could sleep, and even when i woke up from either his or my own scrooching I could fall back asleep.  Thank god.  Now how to do it without the pills, hrmm...

I've realized all i ever write is depressing crappola on here and for that i'm sorry.  I guess i expend all my happy energy when i'm with friends and have no real vent for my depressed unhappy moments that they all just kind of splurge out here.  Plus i just think too much.  That's my ultimate cryptonite...thinking.  I can never just eat something, i have to think about what i want to eat, if it's really what i want to eat or if it's just there, if i will hate myself after i eat it, if it has too many calories, if it will give me gas, if people will judge me for eating it, etc etc etc  

...half a hour later...

we're friends now, he and i.  I don't know when that happened or what the switchover was but we're friends.  We can hang out and it's not awkward.  it's day three of the semester and things are looking positive.  here's to hoping i dont charlie brown myself into making it miserable.