3 Weeks Later...

I am single.
It turns out I don't need him. But I knew that then. It was just a moment of complete desperation I suppose. One of those, "I'm drowning so I'll grasp at anything" kind of things.
I don't want to get back together with him. I know we aren't right. But if it could stop hurting, that would be great.
I'm happier now.
Minus the moments of heartbreak.
I think i'm in the midst of my heart breaking. It just keeps cracking bit by bit whenever I am not sufficiently distracted enough to avoid thinking. I just want it to break completely so I can move on.
I'm finally completely over Greg. He cheated on his girlfriend, again, after promising that he was done with the whole infidelity thing after me. Oh and this time, it was with a guy, that he found on craigslist. Yea... It's amazing, for three years I was so wrapped up in missing him, then in the amount of time it takes to read a text - I'm over it. Kinda made me realize whatever I thought we had was just another one of his perverse ways of lashing out because he's unsatisfied in his life. Whatever. Hasta la bye bye asshole.
My emotions keep flip flopping between excited at the prospects of a new life, meeting new people, being happy, etc to getting depressed about being lonesome and not having that one person that I can call anytime, rely on all the time, hang out with all the time, etc.
It seems like I have always been on the hunt for a best friend/boyfriend/other half of self. The lesson I need to learn now is to find that other half in me. Meaning, I need to become comfortable spending time with just myself. Typically I hate being alone. My mind takes off and I go a bit crazy. Having other people around keeps me in check. I need to learn to be able to keep myself in check. To be calm alone. To entertain myself. Because only then will I be able to really make friends and not push them away because I'm over clingy or wierd.
Well, ok, I'll still be wierd, but I'm ok with that.
I haven't watched TV since I moved back in with my parents. I'm pretty proud of that even though it's not much of an accomplishment.
I'm vying for a promotion at work that I'm not qualified for and probably won't get, but whatever, can't hurt to try.
I really hate how many times I've used the word "I" in this blog.

Bottom line - moving on, hopefully moving up, and someday moving out. Yup. That's all.