I graduate college in less than three weeks.

I will leave with no friends to call...

I don't have a plan for my future

and I hate when people make encouraging excuses for you when you tell them you have no idea what you're doing with your life

I'm alone almost all of the time

mostly because I choose to be

My philosophy has always been to run away before i'm left

but perhaps running a year premature was not such a great plan

then again...running in the figurative sense never is

I want to marry my boyfriend

he wants to marry me

I don't know if we will still be together in a year.

I miss all the people who have been in my life.

I hate you for leaving me now.

I am my own worst enemy.

I need a change of pace.

I need a dose of courage.

I need to be freakin' 21 so I can go to a bar and get drunk.

But how do you escape yourself?

I have no idea.

If/When I do this program in Spain,

I can NOT, I repeat, canNOT play it safe.

Playing it safe has ruined my life.

No one can hurt you if you don't let them near.

Then you have no one to blame but yourself.

And you're used to that.

I don't know why i'm writing in poetry form.

I don't know why I'm writing at all.

I wish I had someone to talk to.

I used to be so close to so many people.

My roomate and I freshman year were inseparable.

My best friend and I in highschool were ridiculously close.

I was once the center of attention for the boys.

Now i'm no one.

I need to re-invent myself.

I need to be with people.

I need to give them a chance.

I need to give myself a chance.

I need to learn how to form a sentence without "I" in it...

After all..."I" is the problem.

...sigh